MISSION REPORT: FORT FUBAR (CLASSIFICATION: DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL) SITREP: Why everyone asks you things you already briefed in the OPORDER and why your brief sucked OPORD briefs usually suck, BUT THEY DON’T HAVE TO! The Army has created a fantastic system of delivering information known as the operations order (OPORD). In it, the OPORD…
MISSION REPORT: FORT FUBAR (CLASSIFICATION: SUPER SECRET SQUIRREL) SITREP: Why you are burned out with the Army and how you can fix it for you and your subordinates Burn out in the military is real. Every day you are expected to go, go, go. You get leave but you can’t really take it because of…
MISSION REPORT: FORT FUBAR (CLASSIFICATION: TRIPLE STAMP CLASSIFIED) SITREP: Train to Time, Not to Standard Did you even read my article title? What sort of “cotton headed ninny muggings” would say such a thing? Of course we must train to the standard. After all, the Army defines a standard as “the way things should be.”…
MISSION REPORT: FORT FUBAR (CLASSIFICATION: TIPPY TOP SECRET) SITREP: The Army has a LARPing Problem (That’s Live Action Role-Playing for all you non-nerds out there) You want to drive your POV onto an Army range, but you can’t. An evil troll known as Range Control has cast a spell onto the parking lot of the…
MISSION REPORT: FORT FUBAR (CLASSIFICATION: FOR YOUR EYES ONLY) SITREP: Why your subordinates suck at taking the initiative and how you can help them There are 10 minutes left in the second quarter of a tied basketball game in the NBA finals. Lebron James steals the basketball and begins his fast break, but instead of…
MISSION REPORT: FORT FUBAR (CLASSIFICATION: SUPER SECRET SQUIRREL) SITREP: Selfish Service: The new Army Value The law of unintended consequences has been in full effect since the army unveiled its “People First” initiative. The noble goal of this initiative was the understanding that soldiers do a lot, work very hard, and that the OPTEMPO and…
MISSION REPORT: FORT FUBAR (CLASSIFICATION: BLACK OPS EDITION) SITREP: How to Task Delegate Like a BOSS! Do you ever feel overwhelmed with tasks? Is your inbox blowin’ up like a Hezbollah pager? Then do I have a fix for you! It’s called the Task Delegation Matrix, and it will tell you right away how to…
MISSION REPORT: FORT FUBAR (CLASSIFICATION: BURN AFTER READING) SITREP: Hey Hey, Ho Ho, PAO has got to Go! “Did you see the latest article about the Guard in today’s newspaper?” – said no one since the death of newspapers 20 years ago. But still the Public Affairs Office continues to write journalistic pieces, in an…
MISSION REPORT: FORT FUBAR (CLASSIFICATION: THE MAN DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS) I will be 43 years old when I can retire on salary of over $160,000 a year, and that salary will only increase by inflation. I will never have to save another penny, which means the $160,000 a year I make in…
MISSION REPORT: FORT FUBAR (CLASSIFICATION: DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION)SITREP: Captain America Still Waiting on AGR Control Grade to become Major AmericaYou would think being an Avenger, single handedly defeating Hydra and winning World War II would merit a promotion in the military, but the powers that be at the fake entity with no authority over national…